your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
