You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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