dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
