why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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