So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
