he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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