But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
