what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize