we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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