you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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