ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
