The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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