the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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