I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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