so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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