it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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