She said her name was "party"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
