I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
