Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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