Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
