i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
