who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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