There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize