She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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