i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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