after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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