Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
