guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
