What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
