All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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