I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize