areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
