i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
