My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're like the curious george of whores
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
