i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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