My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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