I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
