Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
