im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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