google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
