laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
