Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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