oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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