i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
