I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't put those talents on a resume
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he just fucked me for my cheese..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
