Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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