I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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