Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
