Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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