She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Shitshow foam night was such a success
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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