so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
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So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
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Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me