I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life