Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge