I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
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I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.