Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives

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  (404): after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives http://tfl.nu/slpi
  Replies (11) Good night (3148) Bad night (1237)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know she was great

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  (215): mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day (267): I know she was great http://tfl.nu/ms90
  Replies (26) Good night (7043) Bad night (1571)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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  (262): Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile. http://tfl.nu/y44t
  Replies (27) Good night (868) Bad night (7194)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

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  (831): she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/99g1
  Replies (80) Good night (14576) Bad night (2626)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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  (570): why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lm3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1050) Bad night (2556)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2302) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.

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  (305): You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos. http://tfl.nu/9yd3
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.

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  (304): He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away. http://tfl.nu/477o
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus

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  (765): I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus http://tfl.nu/x9kg
  Replies (3) Good night (1285) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.

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  (207): Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing. http://tfl.nu/esgk
  Replies (9) Good night (2035) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"

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  (480): "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!" http://tfl.nu/bdi6
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?

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  (812): Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner? http://tfl.nu/i2e0
  Replies (13) Good night (677) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress

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  (701): Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress http://tfl.nu/1hn4
  Replies (9) Good night (1240) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need

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  (908): It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need http://tfl.nu/txcf
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?

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  (312): He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply? http://tfl.nu/di83
  Replies (5) Good night (234) Bad night (484)

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