Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
