Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself

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  (517): If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself http://tfl.nu/s6n2
  Replies (11) Good night (658) Bad night (3642)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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  (215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv
  Replies (12) Good night (1209) Bad night (4705)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.

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  (610): i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window. http://tfl.nu/q9w7
  Replies (24) Good night (5127) Bad night (1323)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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  (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3yj1
  Replies (10) Good night (5630) Bad night (865)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

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  (843): No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear. http://tfl.nu/va6s
  Replies (47) Good night (4833) Bad night (760)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  How am I a tease?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

  (813): View more from Florida

  ONLY PART OF IT.

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  (813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa
  Replies (45) Good night (8499) Bad night (1698)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  (469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8
  Replies (13) Good night (976) Bad night (4000)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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  (720): No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No. http://tfl.nu/pprs
  Replies (18) Good night (2184) Bad night (668)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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  (631): I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone" http://tfl.nu/bfbc
  Replies (5) Good night (2666) Bad night (572)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.

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  (631): He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment. http://tfl.nu/k4e4
  Replies (4) Good night (529) Bad night (818)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles

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  (612): I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/axk7
  Replies (0) Good night (1096) Bad night (457)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.

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  (704): At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you. http://tfl.nu/lr4p
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (311)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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  (647): didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail? http://tfl.nu/zlp7
  Replies (11) Good night (487) Bad night (1020)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.

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  (571): Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come. http://tfl.nu/4p74
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (280)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.

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  (503): Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever. http://tfl.nu/9erv
  Replies (7) Good night (876) Bad night (500)

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