You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.