never play flip cup with pint glasses
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
