Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
