If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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