Pants 0. Shit 1.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
