Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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