How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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