I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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