Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
