You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My ass is underappreciated
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
