Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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