Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
