put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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