she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize