is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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