no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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